Excerpt from my new writing journal

This summer I have decided to simply write as much as I can about whatever topic I think about. Here is the first entry.

"Even before I could get this notebook out the thunderstorm that would have been the subject ended. I love the rain, specifically downpours. I guess I have to put some qualifications on that declaration. I love rain when I am inside a room with windows where I can watch the water hit the ground in rhythm with the sound meeting my ears or the droplets drop down the criss-crossed patchwork of the screen surrounding our pour.

"I would have to say that a lot of that love centers on the sound. I feel that sentence leading down a rabbit trail so I'll bring myself back to the point. In most other situations I feel ambivalent about or annoyed at the rain.

"When I'm in my car anything short of a light rainfall causes great annoyance due to my odd windshield wipers. I actually don't like any kind of rain when I'm in the car. Driving in the rain is not a lot of fun for me.

"When I'm outside rain isn't always convenient but I love running through the rain. It makes me want to be a kid again.

"I don't like drizzle, the anticipation of more rain that never comes."

This first entry isn't much or the next great American masterpiece but hopefully a step in the right direction.

Vacation Balanacing Act

As of Friday I completed all assignments for my masters degree program. I find it quite incredible that I have completed a degree like this in only 11 months. (I won't get into my thoughts on the strengths and weaknesses of the program. That would be too much like complaining. :D)

As has been a habit of mine in the past I put off things like cleaning my room or putting in new shelves on my bookshelf off until vacation. Now that vacation is here all I want to do is relax and sit around or cross things off my list. Of course, one of the things that I put off doing is updating my to do lists.

Instead of letting the above situation persist as soon as I finish this entry I will move to updating my to do list and putting every thing I can possibly think of on there. lol Of course I will be flexible with that as well. I do not want to become too rigid and have time for nothing else. :D

Bring on the vacation

While I technically have one more assignment/presentation left to give before I officially finish my master's degree I turned in the last "real" assignment this morning. It felt so good yesterday to finish typing that paper and e-mail it off to be printed.

God has been so good. Not only did he help me get through the boringness that was class this morning but he also kept me to one slice of pizza during the "celebration" lunch that the professor sprang for today.

He also helped me through finishing the BIggest Loser strength training DVD. I always feel like I want to skip it. I'll end up being okay. (That's what I tell myself at least.) I know though that I need to push through. Afterwards my body feels fantastic and I am so thankful that God helped me through.

As vacation approaches and I write more journal entries I hope to create more focused entries to hone my writing skills. (After all, that is ostensibly the purpose of this blog. :D)

Fresh start!

The summer is nearly here. Only one little paper aka final reflection stands between me and the end of an 11 month long journey to become a teacher.

I want to look back on this day as the start to a brilliant summer full of writing and reading.

Here's to hoping!

On getting things done

I wish I had had more time yesterday. I know that I needed to go to that conference yesterday and it was a great conference too but I still would rather have that time back. I need to let it go though and focus on getting everything else done.

heh...on to the other things on my to do list

On rolling with the punches

Every experience that I have in the classroom should be a learning experience. My title says student teacher and I really am learning as I go.

I don't have the best teacher... or the kind of teacher I would like but I like any other student learn from any teacher no matter what the proficiency is.

Some punches came my way today (I won't go into detail) and one specifically threw me for a loop. I'm still processing it and trying to figure out how to work in that "constructive criticism" into my daily behavior.

I also had to deal with students ready to be out for the weekend... cooped up and full of energy. I realized later that I made quite a few empty threats and that is probably one of the reasons that the kids (especially 7th period) started to "misbehave" in the way they did was because I wasn't following through. I need to especially next week since that is the only other week where I will have responsibility for all of the periods.

I am definitely praying that God will help me through the remaining seven weeks (six weeks of classes) because it is only with His help that I will be able to do this.

On finally feeling better

This morning I don't think I would have been able to type that heading.

I felt really awesome when I jumped out of bed this morning. I thanked God that I was feeling better and kept moving right along. Molasses started to drift in though and I started to move slower and slower and feel crummier and crummier.

Part of that I attributed to something other than the sickness but I still didn't feel well enough to stay the entire day. I made plans to leave at noon... that way it wouldn't count as an absence.

Then right before I left I started to feel better, probably attributed to the ibuprofen I took before I had my devotions, and I called Mom to ask her if it would be alright to still plan on coming home at noon. She said definitely yes. I'm glad I made that plan.

As the morning wore on I felt progressively worse and made it through the morning as well as my errands (library and latte).

Once I got home though I started to feel better. I've thought that I've been feeling better over the past couple of days but turned out to be wrong. I think that I'm right this time because I'm actually hungry again. I wasn't this morning but now I am. Well... not hungry but not stuffed after a bite.

My mood is better now too. I thank God for that.

Eleven days to go.

On Murphy's law and snow days

I'm not exactly sure why but the past two snow days that I can remember (yesterday included) I've been sick.

Thankfully I was not as sick this time around as I was last time (Mom and I were both flat on our backs the entire day...I even threw up that time).

Sunday when I found out that I would have the day off because of the snow I was super excited because it would allow me to work ahead even more so that I would for sure not be put behind due to the workshop I am attending on Saturday.

When 9:40 Sunday night came around a sense of dread came with it because I started to feel really terrible. I prayed and prayed that God would help me to still feel okay in the morning.

God chose to change my plans instead. I did not sleep well at all. The longest I slept in a row was the first three hours. As I got closer to morning I kept wanting that clock to roll around to a time when Mom would be up as well so that I could ask her what I should do to feel better.

I think that God's intention for me yesterday (not that I am presuming to know what God intended but you know what I mean) was for me to learn how to let go. I like being in control way too much.

Yesterday I had to take a step back and just let everything go. I had to be okay with not getting anything done and instead lay back and relax so that my body could heal.

I'm starting to feel better... not quite up to snuff yet but feeling good enough to start getting things done... both today's and yesterday's.

God has more to teach me though... more than letting go although I think that letting go is a part of it.

Mom came home from Grandma's last night where they had been discussing who would go out with Aunt Ruth to Houston for her pre-op and surgery which are both coming up way too fast. For some reason I cannot remember the exact dates (except for the date when Mom is coming back home).

She told me then that she would be leaving the next day with Ruth and wouldn't be coming back until the 15th. 12 days. I'm not exactly sure why I got so upset about the whole thing maybe because I was still sick or other hormonal reasons but God used this incident to teach me some things as well.

I'm feeling much better than I did last night and this morning even. I know that God will help me through the nearly two weeks and have at least a few more things to teach me through the whole thing.

Now in a little under a half an hour I'm going to take a little jaunt out to Liquid Highway to pick up my weekly Liquid Highway latte and an extra one as a surprise for Mom. She's coming home to have Grandpa pick her up and drive her up to Charlotte for the flight.

On cooking

I love the idea of making new recipes and trying new dishes. Many times when I do try a new recipe the result is successful and I end up making said dish several weeks (or more) in a row.

I have a tendency of falling into a rut. I get a taste for something particular and keep eating/listening/reading...whichever until I want something new.

On the cooking front I have the above to keep me in the rut and also my wariness of trying a new dish and having it turn out unsuccessful and thus waste the ingredients. I blame my frugal nature for part of that and then I don't want to fail as well.

I have this new dish that I want to try and was going to cook today but then both Mom and I goofed and got the wrong kind of beans... the kind that required three hours at least cooking time. (I wanted to cook this for supper and it was already five o'clock. Nice huh?)

We'll see how the attempt turns out tomorrow!

On lesson planning

One of the things that is drilled into a person going through any teacher training program is that the best of lesson plans will be altered due to unforseen circumstances such as fire drills or absences.

This week we had testing and the schedule was changed even from when the sixth grade team worked out a schedule. Because of this change things got pushed back. No big deal.

I am hoping that the week's worth of plans that I worked on today with my cooperating teacher and the other sixth grade social studies teacher will stand somewhat firm. :D

You never know though. When I got home today I checked my school e-mail and discovered an e-mail from the principal mandating schoolwide use of a particular program for the first twenty minutes of every class period. (I have to go back and check the e-mail now because I can't remember if that was every class or just a certain period. Not that that matters of course. :D) At first I had a "you've got to be kidding moment" but then I realized that we probably would have been doing some sort of catch up because the morning periods are behind regardless of the principal's mandate.

Nice huh?

On being a student and a teacher

Right now I am completing my Masters of Arts in teaching, specifically my student teaching. I started the program in the summer and am completing it in one year unlike some of the other people in the program who took a few classes last spring to lighten their load now.

While I am student teaching (aka unpaid teaching) I have assignments to complete for my other classes (Methods, Literature for Teachers and Middle School Reading). Separately either of things things are not difficult to do. Together they can be quite confusing.

Some of the assignments intertwine with the student teaching part while others do not. All of my assignments for my "outside" classes have due dates. In addition, there are deadlines like turning grades in that are applicable only for teaching.

For someone as forgetful as me this causes immense difficulty. Specific dates stick in my mind but unless I write it down I forget why the particular date is important. On the flip side having all of these due dates can make my hand bleed ink putting everything down on the page to make sure that I can remember it.

Sometimes though this intertwining doesn't happen so well. The past few days and weekends have been full of pushing forward to finish assignments that I could have been working on earlier but didn't realize that the due date or date for the execution of the assignment was as close as it is. (Take for instance a unit with a pre and post test that I have to complete for my Methods class. I intended to teach this unit when my University Supervisor came to observe. I realized when I left school yesterday that that week was coming up next week and I had done really nothing in preparation for that unit because I kind of forgot about it. lol)

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love teaching. I absolutely love learning. I don't love doing both at the same time. I want to be able to give my full attention to both and sometimes I don't have enough attention to go around.

After I start teaching I know that I will more than likely pursue yet another degree... such as teaching English as a Second Language... but I will take a maximum of one class while I am teaching or more during the summers.

That aside, I will plug along for the remaining 71 days of the semester and do the best that I can with God's help. Whatever happens I know that God is in control.

On... L. Frank Baum

I had most of Baum's other books on my want to read list and recently I have been reading the rest of his books and crossing them off of my list.

On one hand I wonder why these books were so popular because they are remarkably predictable and a little off the wall. On the other hand when I compare Baum's book to Gregory Maguire's books I much prefer Baum's innocent style.

While I think that some of Baum's books are critical to have in a library I do think that some of his books at least are repetitive and while they introduce rather remarkable characters unnecessary to read.

On meetings

Since starting my journey in the MAT program I have come to a realization. I suppose that I have always known this but it has become glaringly clear. Most adults love talking to each other even if that talking includes complaining about how much time we have to spend in meetings.

Now isn't that ironic?

Granted, there are many things on a teacher's plate, especially a teacher at a Title 1 school. The oversight superimposed on such a school is necessary but can be quite time consuming. Trust me I have seen this in action and actually heard more about it than seen it. Actually, that is not true but you know what I mean.

I think though that all of this work could be accomplished in a much shorter time if the teachers spent less time complaining about the world load and more time actually doing it. Please don't think that I am complaining but it is at times like this when I am most thankful that God made me a quiet person. :D

Something else that I have learned from all of this is how to approach meetings. First, I will make a list (mental or on paper) of what I need to find out to help me accomplish my responsibilities. Second, I will be willing to give of my time in order to listen to another person no matter how long they may wind on. (That's where the hard part is going to come in but I know that God will help me with it. :D)